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The Java Trap

written on November 07, 2010

The empire strikes back or the return of the Jedi?

After my controversial CrapDroid post, it's time for me to strike back with another hot topic, namely the Java or C# trap for that matter.

The JVM and the .NET CLR are birds of the same feather and they kind of flock together; like it or not.

Most of the time when RMS makes his position clear concerning issues like this very early, everybody is like:

"Arrgh, ignore that old man ..."

"Did he take his medication first?"

Who cares? or perhaps who should care?

Companies should care more about this than the average Joe who might use Eclipse as his IDE and OpenOffice to write his love letters.

But you, the corporate guy, the enterprise engineer you build your shit on the top of it and then find yourself in some delicate position when Oracle or Microsoft tighten the strings.

There are two possible outcomes:

Refuse to pay and waste tons of resources on rebuilding everything from scratch, which you could have done from the very beginning avoiding the whole thing.

Continue to pay lots of money for stuff you are forced to use because you and your business depends on it, be it good or bad, like it or not.

Either way, the result is the same, you lose, you waste your company's resources on CrapWare.

Next time your consultant, advisor or CTO stands up and proclaims:

We'll use Java/C#! It's kick ass.

Back-hand him and make sure he doesn't need to walk in the office the next day.

The average Joe will just find an alternative and move on, he got nothing to lose.

The root of all evil

Every bad habit or thing can be traced back to the elemental evil which caused it in the first place, but more often than not we lose sight of this.

In this case my biggest question is why do they teach any of these at school?

Schools shouldn't teach students proprietary languages more than they provide them with free packs of cigarettes.

If they want to teach students OOP without worrying about "low-level" stuff like "memory management" they could pick a scripting language like Python or PHP and don't damage their brains with proprietary crap. It's worse than crack!

Lessons learned?

In fact, I'm quite happy about Oracle busting Google's ass, but only because of CrapDroid.

Don't get me wrong Google makes some great web products but they should GTFO of this mobile business, it just doesn't suit them.

Hopefully this will be a good lesson and make you corporate guys think twice before you fire up your CrapBeans or CrapStudio in order to build the NEXT BIG THING, because you might wake up in a morning and realize that you don't OWN it anymore.

This is not about competition we just don't need this Java and C# crap. We don't need free implementations or tiers, they just have to go down the toilet once for all.

Why duplicate effort by building these free runtime environments ? We don't need them, there are far more important parts of the Linux user-land which need lots of love.

Defenders of the faith

Java/C# guys, please for the sake of humanity do me a favor and if your comment is anything like these, PLEASE don't post it and move along.

"What do you know about Enterprise Level applications written in Java?"

"Java is rock solid, yada yada yada ..."

"How QT is different from Java?"

I'm not interested in listening to your abominations. Thanks.


For your reading pleasure, make sure to read these before you start trolling around in the comments.

  1. Java Trap
  2. Do not depend on Mono
  3. JavaScript Trap

Second thoughts?

Obfuscated JavaScript is another story, we'll discuss it next time with CopperLicht on the radar. Stay tuned.

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